Personal access through Tailscale, the apps over their vendor clouds, almost nothing else exposed on purpose.
Almost nothing is publicly exposed, on purpose. The cloud-tied apps (Hue, Tapo, Tuya/Smart Life, Plex) keep their own remote channels alive on their terms, which is fine for what they do. Personal access goes through Tailscale: I tail in from wherever, and when I am travelling I route my own outbound traffic through home as an exit node, so the cafe or hotel Wi-Fi never sees the traffic in the clear. Home Assistant stays on the home LAN and is reachable directly there or over Tailscale. A reverse proxy is in preparation for the handful of things I actually want on the open web, and that one is deliberately taking its time.